OMG Horror.com

You know how in most action flicks when someone dies in an explosion it's almost like a Bugs Bunny cartoon? The dude flies into the air, possibly flipping a few times in the process, and then lands somewhere next to the blast, entirely unscathed other than the cheap charcoal makeup smeared onto his face. Well, you'll see none of that in Rambo. Oh enemies of Rambo do get FUBAR all right--just to an extent that you've never seen before.

Rambo Van Gogh
I've seen literally hundreds of gore-drenched horror films in my life, but I have never seen people get ripped to shreds in such a horrific and realistic manner. You may be thinking to yourself, 'why is Rambo being reviewed on a horror website,' but believe you me--Rambo is gorier than Hostel, Saw, Cannibal Holocaust, hell... it damn near reaches Peter Jackson's infamous Dead Alive in the amount human bodies being wrecked in an almost comically brutal way.

But that's why we pay the $10 to see Rambo (and why you're reading this review for that matter) in the first place, to enjoy a mindless testosterone-rife bloodbath, innit? If you walk into Rambo wanting some mind-bending storyline or a great performance from Stallone you're a dumbass. Stallone, who has not aged well in the 20 years since Rambo III, barely says anything in the movie, but you know what, it's a nice break from the typical action hero one-liners that can get tiring.

The Gory Details (Major Spoilers)
While Rambo isn't a movie that you'll see filed in the horror section of your local Blockbuster when it makes it way to video, I can't recommend it enough for fans of horror and gore. Don't believe me? Professor John Mueller has put together a chart of statistics spanning the entire Rambo quadrilogy and one number lists the whopping total of 236 deaths in Rambo's latest adventure (a good chunk of which I suspect are in the final 10+ minute long massacre).

Some of the more memorable bloody highlights from the movie are when a pig chews on the severed leg stump of a man who is alive, Rambo digging his fingers into an enemies neck and then tearing out his throat, 2 separate scenes where soldiers are completely decapitated via a sniper round, and... well, numerous other scenes that I probably shouldn't give away where people are transformed into piles of meat and jelly by the hands of Rambo.

If you're any sort of horror or action movie fan, you need to see this movie pronto. It's a return to the schmaltz-free action movie and a whole lot of fun.

Terror Rating: N/A
Originality: 2 out of 5
Level of Gore: 5 out of 5
Overall Rating: 5 out of 5

Recommendations: First Blood, Commando

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