OMG Horror.com

The Twelve Most Painful

Ask any man and they'll tell you that mutilation of the male genitalia is no laughing matter. There is no danger to the human body that men fear more than losing their member. So we thought it'd be a good idea to run a feature all about this. Read on as we round up the most sickening castrations from movie history. If nothing else, at least you'll know what films to avoid by reading our feature.

#12: Sin City
Castration Performed With: Brute Strength
Throughout Bruce Willis' acting career, he's really never played anyone other than the kind of guy who could rip your arms out of their sockets if he felt the need to do so. His role in Sin City is no different. In one scene, Willis, as Detective Hartigan, castrates the neon yellow-fleshed maniac he refers to as "The Yellow Bastard" by grabbing hold of it and ripping it out of him effortlessly as if he were removing the gizzards from a turkey. Nasty.

#11: True Romance
Castration Performed By: Revolver
In True Romance, a dreadlocked pimp played by Gary Oldman gets taught a lesson by Christian Slater who fires a revolver into his groin. The most painful thing about this castration scene is the fact that Oldman has nothing between himself and the bullet other than a pair of white boxers (which are soon dyed dark red with his own body fluids).

#10: Santa Sangre
Castration Performed With: Acid
In lesser known (but highly recommended) Santa Sangre, a fat circus ringmaster named Orgo cheats on his wife by boinking the Tattooed Lady while wearing a blonde wig. His wife, after discovering her husband's infidelity, deep fries her husband's privates by pouring a large jar of acid on it. As Orgo's organs are literally melting away, he simultaneously hacks off both of her arms for doing this to him.

#9: Last House on the Left
Castration Performed By: Teeth
Before he scared the shit out of the world with A Nightmare on Elm Street, Wes Craven made the low-budget slasher film Last House on the Left in which a family is terrorized by a gang of psychopaths. After discovering that her daughter had been murdered, the mother in the movie convinces one of the killers to let her fellate him. She services him for a while, then uses her teeth to guillotine his penis off, and finally spits the detached organ onto the grass like a hunk of leftover beef stuck in her teeth from lunch.

#8: Night of the Demon
Castration Performed By: Bigfoot's Hands
You read that right. A man is emasculated in the film Night of the Demon by the hirsute hands of American's most popular folkloric beast, Bigfoot. After stopping his Harley on the side of the road to take a leak, a biker's manhood is plucked from his nether region with the awesome strength of Bigfoot. The man then stumbles around, spurting blood all over his jeans with of his mangled member. It only takes one viewing for this castration scene (from this otherwise campy horror movie) for it to be forever seared into your brain.

#7: Arabian Nights
Castration Performed By: Rope
There are more than a few crotch shots in Pier Paolo Pasolini's Arabian Nights, and when you have that much man meat flopping in the air, something terrible is bound to happen sooner or later. After having sex with the wrong woman, a rope is wrapped around the main character's junk. Little girls from the village are told to "pull," and with all their youthful strength they yank it right off. Not the most efficient way to castrate a man, but certainly one of the most barbarous techniques.

#6: The Last Woman (AKA Dernière femme, La)
Castration Performed By: Electric Carving Knife
Most people haven't even heard of this 1976 Italian film, but those who have will know of its unbearably grotesque scene where a frustrated Gérard Depardieu takes an electric turkey carver to his Johnson and mercilessly tears through his penis just to prove a point.

#5: Cannibal Ferox
Castration Performed By: Sword
When you're a white dude hanging out with a bunch of short-tempered cannibals, snorting a ton of cocaine and acting like a total asshole in front of them isn't the brightest of ideas. In one gruesome scene from Cannibal Ferox, the cannibals get even with a white cokehead who, in a fit of coke rage, scooped out one of their tribesman's eyes and chopped off his member. To pay him back, one cannibal ties the man up, lops his penis clean off with a sword, and then puts the severed gland into his mouth and chews it up. If you can stomach watching the devouring of this cannibal-style Little Smokey, you can handle just about anything.

#4: Street Trash
Castration Performed By: Shiv Fashioned Out of Human Femur Bone
The only thing worse than losing your manhood is being the laughing stock of everyone around you after you can do nothing but cradle your ruined privates in supreme agony (remember John Bobbit?). In the ultra-cheesy 80's splatter-fest Street Trash, a homeless man's dong is savagely sliced free of his body in the middle of urinating on another bum's face (by a knife carved out of a femur bone no less!). The penis is then tossed around like an organic Nerf dart in a game of keep away. Although this film's tone is entirely tongue-in-cheek throughout, this scene exemplifies how much this would suck if it happened in real life.

#3: Pulp Fiction
Castration Performed By: Shotgun
Getting brutally raped in the ass calls for no ordinary retribution. In this unforgettable scene from Quentin Tarantino's Pulp Fiction, Marsellus exacts revenge on his violator by wrecking his crotch with a shotgun blast. After transforming his gonads into shredded carnitas, he utters the classic line: "I'ma call a coupla hard, pipe-hittin' n***ers, who'll go to work on the homes here with a pair of pliers and a blow torch. You hear me talkin', hillbilly boy? I ain't through with you by a damn sight. I'ma get medieval on your ass." Even though the guy completely deserved his punishment, we still cross our legs every time we watch this scene.

#2: Hostel: Part II
Castration Performed By: Garden Pruners
Eli Roth gave new meaning to critics' "gornography" nickname for his ultra-gory Hostel series in the second to final scene of his sequel. In this completely unexpected moment, the soon-to-be tortured Beth gains the upper hand when she unflinchingly severs the penis of her torturer with a pair of garden pruners in full view of the camera. But the suffering doesn't stop there--Beth then plucks the amputated man meat from its former owner and feeds it to an attack dog! I'll never be able to buy my dog Kibbles 'n Bits without thinking of this scene.

#1: I Spit on Your Grave
Castration Performed By: Knife
The cult exploitation flick I Spit on Your Grave's penis slicing scene is so subtle (you don't see the act), yet so excruciatingly hard to watch without cringing in disgust. To get revenge on one of the rednecks who gang rapes her in the film, Jennifer dips her hands into the bath water as he's relaxing in the tub and snips he's most valued organ. A blob of blood then bubbles up to the surface, making him realize that he's been eunuchized. Often times it's more effective when filmmakers hold back just a bit, leaving some of the horror to the viewer's imagination (while still intensifying the scene with nasty sound effects and other techniques)--such is the case with this shocking scene from I Spit on Your Grave.

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