NEWS: A Million Uwe Boll Haters Demand He Quit Killing the Horror Genre
Apr. 8
Yeah, Fuck You Too, Pal!
German schlock king Uwe Boll, who's churned out such insulting garbage as House of the Dead, Alone in the Dark, BloodRayne, and countless other unmentionables, is back to challenging his clamoring anti-fans. After duelling his 5 harshest naysayers in a 10 round boxing match in June of '06, he's now intent on relinqushing his film career if one million signatures are achieved. Good luck Mr. Boll!
Here's what the petition says:
To: Dr. Uwe Boll We, the undersigned, respectfully ask that Uwe Boll give proper weight to the wishes of the video game community, the horror community, and the film going community in general and stop directing, producing, or taking any part in the creation of feature films. His distasteful handling of the subject matter and lack of acknowledgement of his failures simply cannot be abided any longer. Mr. Boll has repeatedly shown a complete lack of comprehension regarding the videogames he has dragged, kicking and screaming, to the silver screen and his ham-fisted approach to horror has soiled future possibilities for anyone else who may attempt to bring videogames to film. Sincerely, The Undersigned
If you feel so inclined, please sign the petition here.
Final Word: It seems that aside from the lack of any discernible talent, Boll's real problem is over-extension. I mean, with two films currently in post production, and another three in pre-production, it's as if he thinks a well crafted motion picture is akin to some kind of conveyer belt factory item. Take the time sir, put some well needed planning in place and maybe you can create something that doesn't resemble a wet stain at the bottom of my toilet. Petition? Yeah, sure I'll sign it...give it here.
UPDATE: April 9, 2008
Uwe Boll has responded to the petition in the video below. Make sure you don't have anything in your mouth prior to watching the clip, because you'll likely choke on it.
Comments
Signed, for the greater good of humanity. And zombies. And vampires. And mumm...you get the picture.
Yo tambien.
That photo of Ew Bowel is hilarious. Another sig here.
HAHAHAHAHAHAHA, wow this is the funniest thing I personally have ever read. Where do I sign!
I signed too
"I am not a fa-cking retard like Michael Bay!"
LMAO! He is a genius.
Well isn't that convenient. Now that the German tax loophole is closed, he isn't going to be making any more movies anyway. This is just an excuse for him to bow out without admitting that he was playing the system all along. Bravo, Mr. Boll, and well played.
That is unbelievable that he actually considers his movies halfway decent. For some reason, I had always imagined him as some chunky Aryan with dishevled blonde locks, humbly and sadly sitting in his office hating every second of his existance. I mean, he HAS to know what he's doing is literally killing people, right? RIGHT?!
Great, now we will go back to a time when video game movies meant, "Super Mario Bros.", and "Street Fighter", . . be careful what you wish for kids because the alternative can ALWAYS be worse......... problem is people rent his movies. If you don't want to watch them, stop renting them, and if your not, then your in the minority, because apparently more people ARE renting them than not, or he couldn't get money for the next project........[p]
You guys are acting like the RE movies were actually good, . they're just as bad, except they have a bigger budget...... why don't you idiots do something worth while like VOTE in a election, no, that would be way too much trouble, I mean with all the time you spend dissing Uwe Boll, where would you find the time. . . Did it ever occur to you that for the most part, video games have stupid plots and worse dialog?. . Most of them are about as deep as a 5th grade play and would make shitty movies even if Spielberg & Lucas teamed up for the lot of them.......I think your all forgetting or just play lying to yourself that the content of video games actually warrants ANY movie. .So go back to arguing which console has a better version of The Wizzle Birds and leave this poor guy alone.
You must be registered and logged in to leave comments.
If you are already have a login with GamePro.com, Gamerhelp.com, Games.net or GameProFamily.com, then use that login!